Seth-n-Jode's Adventures

Lost in Japan  

We’ve just landed from a 15-hour flight to Tokyo. We stumble off the plane. Bleary eyed and bone tired we flow with the river of passengers to a sliding door where most everyone is boarding the train. Jody snatches a map from a nearby kiosk just before the doors glide shut. As the train quickly accelerates to parts unknown, Jody opens the map to figure out where we are headed. She then inspects her reading glasses.  She looks again. Panic creases her face. The map is in Japanese.  The overhead signs are all Japanese.  The people around us all Japanese.  Alice meet Wonderland.  

We didn’t foresee the mindboggling complexity of the Tokyo subway system. Everybody seems to have it figured out, except us. The map shows lots of colored lines and stations.  An utterly inadequate two-dimensional view of an engineering marvel that exists across three dimensions. The subway tunnels loop over and under one another for hundreds of miles on five separate subterranean levels. The map further disregards that the subway system is in fact a lively underground city with a multiplicity of stores, shops and eateries.  

Entering the subway at ground level, you might exit a hundred kilometers distant. That is, if you can find the exit. Which doesn’t look promising in our present circumstance. To break the tension, I wisecrack “At least we have three weeks to find a way out before we need to fly home.”  That comment doesn’t go over so well. 

Trying to reposition us from lost to unlost, I hear Jody shout “ARIGATO” while stopping a Japanese businesswoman from the flow of rushing subway passengers.  Before this trip, we were able to memorize a single word of Japanese, “Arigato” which means “thank you.”  As it’s the one word we can pronounce, we thus use it for everything. Jody points at the “X” circled on our crumpled map indicating where we think the hotel awaits. The woman gestures that she doesn’t understand English and rushes away.  

I just finished plumping my jacket into a serviceable pillow, in preparation for three-weeks sleeping in the subways of Tokyo, when the woman reappears. She politely motions us to follow her.  We meekly obey.  Down a corridor.  Up a set of stairs. Around the corner. Along a hallway.  To eventually reach a dark imposing door. The woman utters a magical password, and the door opens.  We find ourselves at the entrance to our hotel.  I unobtrusively unroll my “pillow.”  This woman has just saved our marriage!  

Tokyo is the most populous city in the world with 40 million residents. Four times the population of New York City.  Despite this colossal number of residents, we never heard a driver honk their horn.  Didn’t see trash on the ground.  Never encountered a single homeless person on the streets.  The Japanese are apparently delivering on civilized society pretty darn effectively. Especially when it comes to one’s backside. Let me explain. 

It took me some time to warm up to the idea (pun intended), but the bidet is, in a word, exquisitely civilized.  Every toilet in Japan sports a bewildering gadget next to it with lots of buttons. Each button adorned with a Japanese symbol we can’t interpret. Depending on the button you press you could: enjoy listening to some music broadcast from a hidden speaker; see an arrow projected onto the wall directing you to the exit, or duck from the jet of heated water erupting from the bowl.  Though I never learned to decipher the buttons, I had a lot of fun exploring.  Why not dance to encourage the morning constitutional?  We are now bidet enthusiasts and have since installed them across our home.  Visit anytime to try ours but be prepared to dance if you don’t read Japanese. 

Bike Slacking from Sea to Ocean 

The reason we visited Japan was to bike tour the Shimanami Kaido route with our besties, Mike & Betty. Mike had joined us five years back on an unexpectedly brutal self-supported bikepacking trip through northern Spain. We were surprised when he accepted our invitation to bike tour Japan but, like us, he was captivated by the glossy brochure gushing about the trip. Dedicated bike pathways weaving among the islands across the Seto Inland Sea to reach the Pacific Ocean. Lush traditional Japanese accommodations.  Daily visits to onsens (public bath spas) to soothe sore muscles. Delicious seafood straight from ocean to frying pan.  English speaking guide leading every ride.  Van to carry your rucksack. I proclaim it Bike Slacking and it was great!  Jody was smiling each night after visiting the onsen with Betty. I think she’s finally drunk the juice. 

 Here's a link to our Japan slideshow set to music. Enjoy

Via Ferrata Backtrack 

Via Ferrata is Italian for “iron way” routes consisting of iron rungs & cables bolted to the wall to provide a secure connection to travel across steep exposed alpine terrain. Via Ferrata routes were first used in the First World War to help troops cross vertical rock walls in the Dolomite Mountain region of Italy. Via Ferrata routes are now popular worldwide and for good reason. The thrill of scrambling along a cliff face with 100 feet of nothing beneath you, without needing to wear painfully tight shoes, endlessly practice climbing skills, or impatiently belay your partner.  What’s not to like? 

We’ve climbed the downstream route of the Uncompahgre Gorge in Ouray, CO and Jody is now keen to prove ourselves on the harder upstream route.  We confidently dismiss the “Very Difficult” signs posted along the approach.  Can’t be any harder than getting through the subways of Japan unscathed, right?  We first cross over a raging river, tight-roping across a single cable while holding onto another cable for balance.  Soon thereafter, we encounter an overhanging rock buttress that requires a mountaineer hold with one hand while reaching around blindly to secure the next handhold.   

This is where we learn that a “vertical” wall is one thing, whereas “beyond vertical” another. Entirely a different thing.  I’m leading and holler back to Jody that this move is “kinda hard.” With some coaching and encouragement, Jody successfully traverses the buttress, but is fatigued.  We then reach the 50’ vertical sky ladder. Fifty feet is as high as the tallest building in Durango. It’s a long way up. Jody watches the ladder sway as I climb, my arms vibrating with tension.  Shortly deciding this route is too hard, she calls up to me explaining that she’s abandoning this venture, will scramble down the rock face and swim back across the river. The local climbing guide sees this pantomime from across the river and waves her arms that Jody WILL NOT unclip from the Via Ferrata cables and WILL INSTEAD backtrack to re-cross the river using the high wire.  Jody is considerably worried about not making the return move around the buttress and ending up dangling from her safety harness with 100 feet of nothing beneath her. The climbing guide offers to assist, skates over the highwire, and with surprising strength, singlehandedly hauls Jody around the buttress.  Jody can only think to say “Arigato”.   

Pictures of France 

Just a few years ago, photography required an expensive camera and expert skills.  Photographs “that made it to print” were routinely remarkable. Smartphone cameras however require no training and now five BILLION photos are being taken every day.  This number is inconceivable.  Unbelievable that is, until someone offers to show you “a couple photos” from their recent travels.  My warning is…RUN! 

We’ve been to France and loved it. The baguettes themselves make the trip worthwhile.  I was thus caught off-guard when my brother Dave excitedly proffered to show “a couple photos” from his and Sue’s recent trip to Paris. I accepted thoughtlessly.  Dave then began scrolling through exactly 2,387 pictures of the Eiffel Tower. I counted.  Pictures from far away. From up close.  From different directions.  Every single photo with the Eiffel Tower completely enclosed by a tall orange construction fence.  Five hours later he needed to pause the slideshow to recharge his phone. I RAN!  

DMP Bike Park  

In 2023, the Durango Mesa Park foundation built a state-of-the-art bike park in Durango. Machine built flow tracks. Jump lines of varying difficulty.  Gap jumps, drops, banked berms.  A whole new level of merriment for us mountain bikers.  These new trails are burly.  The critical weakness, in my case anyway, is judicious prudence.  I marvel at the young bike champions sailing 25’ (twenty-five feet) across gap jumps doing flips in mid-air.  Remember however that these kids are made of rubber whereas I am held together with a few screws and lots of adamantium plates.  As I was preparing to send it this year, I overheard a young whippersnapper whisper, “Let’s watch this old geezer jump. It’s likely to be a train wreck!” Geez…the lack of respect.  I nailed my 20” jump this past year (inches not feet) and am working up the courage to send 25” next year.  

Monopoly with Mom 

Jody’s mom, Donna, presents herself as a mild-mannered woman but make no mistake she is a wolf in lamb’s clothing when it comes to Monopoly. First, she acquired all the railroads and charged everyone $200 for railroad rent every turn around the board. Then Jody ended up trading her Park Place to pay off debt.  After that the game proceeded swiftly.  Soon all players had to roll a 12 to avoid landing on a property blanketed with hotels that was owned by my mother-in-law.  Late in the game, I rolled the dice and seeing a hotel laden result quickly scooped them up for another roll.  Big Bad Wolf meet Wile E. Coyote! 

You Look so Pretty 

Jody has been telecommuting for over two decades, and over that time become exceedingly comfortable with video conferencing.  Perhaps too comfortable.  In a recent video conference, several of Jody’s co-workers paused to comment on how pretty she looked. I came into her office to peek. As usual, she was wearing her favorite old, faded fleece vest. But she had indeed brushed her hair and removed her favorite ball-cap.  In my considered opinion, she did look remarkably beautiful. 

Life in Durango 

Jody continues as a Vice President of Strategic Initiatives with Mr. Cooper. I am involved in a wide variety of community efforts and take care of Jody.  TTTK is now 15 years old and still likes to be held all the time. We make him into a kitty sandwich when we hug.  When we part, he always meows to request sandwich treatment again and we, of course, always oblige. 

We delight in writing this letter each year and hope you enjoy it.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Codicil - On December 19, 2023 at 8 p.m., Thomas passed away. He gave us such joy throughout the 15.5 years we were his humans.  It was a good death. Although this has been devastating for us, we have been enveloped by a tsunami of love from around the world which has helped us immensely. Travel well my little cheetah kitten.  We will miss you forever.