Anniversary Ramblings - The Ring
;)
An acquaintance asked me the other day why I don't wear my wedding ring. It brought back a flood of memories, a literal ring of remembrances. I had wanted the big fancy ring back then in February 1993. This was the time where I was just starting my career and the clothes, the house, the car had an outsized import on my life. We bought this beautiful pear carat from someone advertising in the newspaper. On the outside it was bright and shiny but under the microscope, the jeweler pointed out some flaws. No matter. It was the right price. I liked that it had character uniquely its own. Seth, ever more practical and never in need of any status symbol, bought a modest gold ring. Prior to our wedding, we had the symbol for infinity + 1 engraved on both bands.
We wore them for about a year. But whitewater kayaking isn't conducive to ring bearers. While my ring was kept safe in a drawer at home, Seth would put his in his life jacket pocket. And then, one day, it was gone. Forever claimed by the river.
How do you replace a ring engraved with infinity + 1, exchanged in a mountain celebration before our tribe, blessed by the earth, sun, moon and stars? It's not possible. To me, the ring is now a symbol of the eddies, the rapids, the exhilaration, the catastrophes, and the concentric circle of friends and family that ebb and flow through our lives.
I imagine Seth's ring being washed and rolled by the river. The glint of the engraving occasionally catching the sun. Maybe it's lodged under a rock. Maybe it has reached the ocean by now. Maybe somebody else found it and used it in their own special ceremony.
Sometimes I bring my ring out and marvel at its beauty and remember it's flaws. Similiar to when I wake up next to Seth in the mornings. In the quiet light, I like to gently trace his scars which hint at the narrative that put us in this place and this time. I listen to the rise and fall of his steady breathing and revel in infinity + 1.
It is our 22nd wedding anniversary today. We are celebrating with a set of old kayak friends who we adventured with back in the boating years in California in the early 90s. Over the years our lives have rippled in different directions but we have always stayed connected by the river. And then last year, a bike packing invitation to New Zealand brings us all back together again.
To laugh. Maybe even to cry some. To make more memories. Like the concentric rings of water from a thrown rock. Like a ring sacrificed to the river....for infinity + 1.
Jody
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