Seth-n-Jode's Adventures

Dear Dad

There is rarely a day gone by in the past 25 years that I haven't thought of you. Some say time heals. But it doesn't or perhaps I won't let it. My world view is bifurcated into time before September 30, 1990 and that which came after, a rift in my soul like the Grand Canyon.

The pictures are fading. The letters you wrote to me are yellowed and brittle. And yet the seasons, the memories, the sounds, the smells are still so vivid. 

Winter…"Troops!" - I can still hear your call to wake up Wanda and me to milk the cows.  I didn't want to go out into the darkness & bitter cold. But then all bundled up, I would walk out into a crystal wonderland. Moon glow gleaming on every facet of snow.  Steaming haunch of the milk cow warming my cold cheeks.  Walking back to the house and smelling Mom’s delicious breakfast.  Feeling so alive!

Spring brings ducks flying north. Their honking always brings me back to the ranch. That sound was a welcome sign that we were on the downhill side of the long winter. The lambs and calves running and jumping and kicking at dusk. Their playfulness would fill my soul that all was right in the world.

Summer and the sweet smell of a newly cut hay field always reminds me of you. Although I didn't think it fun at the time, I remember the heat and dust while hand stacking hay. In all my travels around this world, I've never again seen haystacks that rival yours. Perfectly square, green side out, with slough hay mounded on top. You were a perfectionist – an artist - in everything you did. I work to emulate you in my own professional career.

And then the fall....the season of change. I remember you driving me to start college in Boulder in 1986. A nervous energy in the air.  A sea change in the life I had lived and the future. I remember saying goodbye with us both fighting back tears. I had never seen you cry..... And then a dreadful call on a brisk day four years later.  We spread your ashes in the mountains with the trees in full fall blaze. A fitting tribute to an irreconcilable event.

What I would give to have another day with you.  To tell you about my wonderful 27 year relationship with Seth. How Mom has worked so hard to keep the ranch as perfect as when you were here. How Wanda blossomed as a nurse and now plays a mean game of hockey for fun. How her son - your grandson - JP has become a handsome young man with a bright future ahead of him. You would be proud.

God saw fit to take you before your time. But you still exist. I hear you in the call of a bird at first light. I see you in sun soaked rainbows. I feel your presence when the wind blows…and I still only miss you when I’m breathing.

Your daughter,

Jody Sue Ashbaugh Furtney

A picture tribute set to music that I made for you:

http://play.smilebox.com/SpreadMoreHappy/4e444d774e4441774d4446384d6a51794d6a55324e7a453d0d0a