Seth-n-Jode's Adventures

Packrafting Serenely

We simply can’t resist the river’s call each spring.  Jody and I recently purchased a couple of contemporary packrafts since our hard-won experience in kayaks is fading to a fond memory. Packraft marketing reflects couples smiling idyllically while paddling on peaceful lakes.  These gentle illustrations are enticing when I recall the painful (and thankfully distant) memory of dislocating & then relocating my shoulder whilst in my kayak.

We decide to test our new craft on our local Animas River which is flowing high with spring runoff.  We know every rock and cranny on this river.  However, Jody’s instinctive sense of self-preservation reawakens when we reach the infamous Smelter Rapid. At this spot, the river narrows while thrashing, crashing, boiling, and bubbling like a witch’s caldron filled with dry ice. The water was snow about 2 hours ago, so water temps are well…chilly.  The original name for the Animas River translates to “River of Lost Souls”, but in the spring, “River of Frozen Souls” may be more suitable. 

Jody paddles to shore to scout while I wait and wait.  I awake from a nap about an hour later and she’s still scouting.  Our packrafts on shore have grown scorching hot from the blazing sun and, concerned that the increased air pressure will damage the packraft’s airtight seals, I release pressure from Jody’s packraft.  A few minutes later I decide to run the rapid to demonstrate “the line” for Jody to follow. 

I run Smelter Rapid and my face doesn’t even get splashed.  From the bottom of the rapid, I wave to Jody indicating that this was a “clean line”.  Though still kind of worried, Jody “trusts me” and proceeds to her packraft. She launches, and once into the main current, immediately realizes something is dreadfully wrong. The packraft simply will not track…. certainly not when its operating as a half-deflated beach ball.  This may have been a vital piece of information that I failed to convey to Jody before launching.  Jody paddles mightily trying to keep her bow pointed downstream, but her efforts are hopeless.  Her beach ball wobbles and sways down the entry wave.  I close my eyes knowing this is not going to be pretty.  I open my eyes to see the packraft being pummeled in a vicious hydraulic and Jody missing.

I run along the shore desperately looking for her and I finally spot her near the end of the ¼ mile long rapid.  She is crawling onto shore.  Her skin shimmering a frosty aquamarine blue.  All things considered, she looks great!  A spectator runs up to me holding her camera overhead shouting that she got the whole thing on video “Isn’t that cool!” she exudes. A bit too “cool”, I suspect. 

Despite my being but a thoughtful husband - albeit focused too intently on keeping her new boat secure - Jody holds me responsible for her near-death experience.  She has placed me in Purgatory until I make amends.

ER Punch Pass

The river calamity is over, followed by an extraordinarily long, very hot shower and a full night’s rest.  The next day, Jody suggests we enjoy a local mountain bike ride.  I’m still trying to negotiate exit from Purgatory, so promptly agree.  She declares that we will ride the Snake Charmer trail with its demanding features & jumps.

I wake up in the emergency room.  My head is throbbing, and I see stars.  I’m certain Jody must have smacked me good in retribution for the previous day’s escapades. Appropriately the nurses ignore my babbling that I was only trying to help by releasing air from Jody’s boat.

The ER doctor is the same attending physician for my prior visit and she exclaims “You’re the WALK IN!” when she sees me, recalling when I hobbled into the ER on crutches with a dislocated hip a couple years ago.  I’ve apparently become somewhat infamous in the local medical community and been granted a nickname. She explains to Jody that I’ve suffered a concussion but, because I’m such a persnickety old bastard, the tree probably looks worse for the wear.  Though “Walk In” may not be a great reason to be renowned, who decides one’s basis for stardom?  Given my notoriety, I’ve asked the hospital to issue me a punch pass. Buy 10 and get 1 ER visit for free.

Magic on the Gunny Gorge

We were transfixed this past summer.  Imagine a remote river in a deep canyon (just like in the marketing pictures this time). We hike a mile to access the river and then enjoy the day gliding our packrafts on crystal clear water through the stunning geology. The days are long. The air is soft.  As evening arrives, we set our camp on a patch of desolate sun warmed sand in which we delightfully walk barefoot.  The full moon is just rising above the canyon walls when we hear splashing across the river. We look over our idyllic setting to watch two river otters arriving.

In the waning light, these two supple creatures playfully chase a fish.  In a few short minutes, they smoothly glide to the shore and flop down, fresh trout in mouth.  They devour their dinner hedonistically, frolicking in the spoils of their hunt.  A bloody marvelous scene with particular attention to bloody.  They slip & slide and roll in it. We cannot tear our eyes away.  As the Milky Way winks into the night sky, they slip quietly into the water and disappear.  Magic!

Black Canyon

Jody’s been cold before...in fact not long ago.  I suspect many of you have been cold.  However, I didn’t expect to be so cold on our recent bikepacking trip in the Sonoran Desert.  Who’d a thunk that the Black Canyon trail near Phoenix AZ would get so frigid?  A lesson I’ll share with you.  Do not trust an old “45 degree” down sleeping bag to be comfortable when the outside temperature dips well below freezing and the night lasts 13 hours.  Trust me, I tried everything. Wearing every stitch of clothing helps a little. Additional layers of sunscreen don’t. Sleeping with your head inside the sleeping bag feels good briefly…but in short order the icicles growing over your exhales start poking into your face.  Robbing your spouse of every calorie of heat she generates and shivering wildly will (most likely) keep you alive.  Just don’t expect to sleep. I wake up to see Jody’s skin shimmering a pale aquamarine blue. It looks familiar.

Asia Trip

It has been 20 years since we left Coroico, Bolivia on our midlife walkabout.  I still regret leaving.  It was bliss to sleep in a soft bed after a half year of rough travel in South America.  Joy to again sit comfortably upon a toilet seat with toilet paper. Wonderful to revel in a warm shower.  The charge for a masseuse was $5/hour.  Paradise.  It still stings me upon reflection to realize that we spurned this utopia just to visit Andean llama mummies.  What were we thinking?

I may have finally discovered a calming salve.  Last December, after a bruising 16-hour flight across 8 time zones, we booked three days’ rest in Chiang Mai, Thailand.  After a fitful night, we arose the next morning to behold…a massage studio on every corner. Within walking distance.  Who am I to argue with such a fate? We walk to a nearby studio. 

The Thai masseuses are 5 feet tall & weigh 90 pounds. Being so tiny, I wonder whether they will be able to unkink my knotted everything. The practitioner looks at me unconcerned and in one assertive stretch-twist movement nearly dislocates my shoulder.  She then applies her elbows in ways I didn’t know one could.  I begin to worry what will happen if she treats my recently reattached left leg in the same aggressive manner.  Sure enough, she grabs my bum leg and pushes it somewhere behind my head. I screech that this isn’t a good idea, but apparently, she doesn’t understand cursing in English.  My hip stretches and strains but luckily holds, else the Durango ER would have to grant me a new nickname, the “FLY IN”. We survive three days of massage in preparation for our bike trip through regions of Myanmar and Vietnam

Visiting Myanmar was like being whisked back to the 18^th century.  Jody was downright statuesque compared to Burmese women who all measure under 5 feet.    She was entranced by the cotton washers who laughed and sang as we walked through their small factory.  Her enchantment not a bit surprising since these guys had physiques like GQ models, muscles rippling, covered with sweat as they stomped in tubs of hot water full of raw cotton.  We encountered industrious people doing everything one can imagine.  Tradespeople paddled their goods to market, silk weavers weaved, wood carvers carved, candy makers candied, peanut farmers farmed, elephant tenders tended. With the help of strangers, I learned how to properly tie on a longyi to enter the temples. Travelling helps refresh our experience of welcome kindness everywhere.  We came back to the United States with a renewed appreciation of the hard work involved to make a community. 

Sleeping with the Mayor

I’m increasingly involved with the “happenings” in our fair town and have decided to run for City Council next year.  I ask Jody what “motto” I should use for my platform and she doesn’t miss a beat, “Seth Knows the Jail System Inside and Out.”  I know the backstory and welcome her sense of humor, but my instinctive sense of self-preservation calls me to scout this rapid.  She recently interrupted a conversation about my campaign I was having with my brother to declare that she might be sleeping with the mayor.  He went quiet and then responded skeptically, “Oh really?” Jody giggles and explained that since the mayor is a rotating position in City Council, were I to win, she really might be sleeping with the mayor. 

Life in Durango

Due to travel restrictions this year, we stayed nearby and explored remote and magical places around the Four Corners.  We so enjoy our plentiful public lands and are doing what we can to preserve them for future generations. 

Jody continues with Mr. Cooper (a mortgage company) as a Vice President of Strategic Initiatives. She was in Dallas when the WHO declared a worldwide pandemic in March.  She skedaddled home on the next plane. In the next few weeks, Mr. Cooper converted nearly 100% of its 8,000 office employees into telecommuters. Wow! One hopeful result from COVID-19 is that the modern world is creatively evaluating new and alternative ways of learning and working.

Though Jody has been telecommuting for nearly 20 years, we nonetheless confront some of the same foibles many are now experiencing working from home. Let me introduce you to our blender, by far the most formidable piece of industrial equipment in our house.  When you hit the start button, the lights dim, the roof shakes, and the kat shrieks.  One morning, I wasn’t thinking clearly and “hit start” while Jody was on a Zoom call with all her company big wigs.  Everyone on that call experienced Armageddon.  But it wasn’t over yet.  The kat subsequently posed for the webcam and then I carelessly flushed the toilet next to Jody’s office.  The Zoom facilitator commented that the connection from Durango was “lighting up” the call.  Yep...guilty as charged.

Someday I may become Mayor, but until then I remain a consultant as well as household cook and bottle washer.  The election is in April and I’m just starting to gear up.  I hit my first snag when “my campaign manager” didn’t remember our agreement to be my campaign manager and (more importantly) neither did his wife.  I’m now pleading with Jody to help me with my campaign.  I must admit, she creates a crafty motto. 

TTTK remains an affectionate cuddly kitty kat.  Jody has become concerned about some black freckles appearing on his nose, so on a recent visit to her dermatologist, when the doctor asked if she has any other questions, she whipped out a close-up picture of TTTK’s nose and asks him to evaluate these new “cheetah spots”. He chuckles and obliges.  As she’s leaving, Jody hears him laughing with the nurse in the hallway asking that “Crazy Kat Lady” be added to her medical record.

SMILEBOX SLIDESHOWS: 

SouthEast Asia - December 2019

Lori D's 50th Birthday Tribute - February 2020

Gunny Gorge - July 2020

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Jody and Seth Furtney & Thomas the Tom Kat

11 Molas Drive, Durango, CO 81301

Jody Cell Phone: 970-385-5567 / Seth Cell Phone: 970-385-5547 

Email:  jodyfurtney@hotmail.com / sethfurtney@hotmail.com