Seth-n-Jode's Adventures

The Continental Divide Trail (CDT) Ride:

Our picture for this year shows Jody and me jumping for joy in the San Juan Mountains after successfully finishing our mountain bike trip on the Continental Divide Trail (CDT).  We’d recently completed our self-supported 1,000+ mile trip from Banff Canada to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and we are thrilled to be off the bikes.  Off to the right, you’ll also see our friend Dan Read.  He was also on the bike trip. 

Let me introduce Dan.  You may correctly perceive that Dan is trying desperately to maintain an aloof & reserved public image, though our antics did manage to get him to crack a smile.  To his defense, he normally resides at sea level, and thus at >12,000 feet he is seriously oxygen deprived.  In any case, my opinion is that he’s “uptight” and trying to mask that under a “reserved demeanor”.  My opinion is based on the routine behaviors he displayed on the trip (i.e. cantankerous, irritable, grouchy) all to which I find my head nodding in the affirmative. 

Nevertheless, it caused me a moment’s pause when, just before engaging in flogging him for the countless insults and discomforts that I experienced during our CDT ride, he sent Jody and I (what appeared on its face to be) a thoughtful and appreciative letter thanking us for inviting him on the trip.  Not a tweet, not an email, but a real 20^th century letter sent via US Post on bond paper.  I’m a sucker for age old graces like this. Fortunately he threw down the gauntlet:

“Let's face it, you both have lots to give thanks, not the least of which is your great friend Dan Read who immeasurably enhanced the quality of your CDT ride this year. One has to wonder if the two of you would even have made it home safely without me.”

I’m pleased to respond to this insult in this forum since he’s unable to retaliate. :)

Let’s start with the beginning.  Jody and I spent most of 2012 preparing & planning for our “Ride the Divide” adventure.  Nearly a year ago, we’d invited Dan to come along, but despite that he didn’t have any schedule conflicts, he wouldn’t commit until a short sixty days before the ride.  Along with his last minute declaration that he would like to join us, he admits to not having a lot of experience with long distance self-supported mountain bike travel.  Who does?  But in this case his inexperience is breathtaking.  Let me put this in perspective.  Our first recommendation to him is “Buy a bike.”  Our second is “Learn to ride the bike.”  

Imagine, if you will, a California city slicker clicking his heals and dropping magically into Canada to ride 1,000+ miles on a dirt path to Wyoming.  Now realize that Dan didn’t have anything to start this trip.  No bike. No tent. No sleeping bag. No outdoor clothing. Nada. 

We had to explain to him that it was not wise to bring any of the “camping” things that he expected.  Do NOT bring your: pistol, hiking boots, nor your cast iron Dutch oven.  We’re planning to travel light, so he’s well behind the curve.  Jody and I have lightweight gear that we’ve acquired over past years.  Some loved & some unloved, but appropriate enough that we can’t defend leaving it behind and purchasing expensive new stuff.  No such hurdle for Dan.  He starts out by purchasing an absolutely gorgeous lightweight carbon fiber full suspension bike.  He concludes a few weeks later with the purchase of a $15 titanium spork.  Truly. 

Seeing his list of brand new gear, I begin hoping that Dan will collapse on the trail, thereby granting me a complete 21^st century gear upgrade at no expense.  Unfortunately my hopes fade somewhat when he hires a fitness instructor to develop his training program.  He dedicates himself and trains daily.  A couple weeks before the start, he asks “When are you tapering?” We found this so funny that we nearly spilled the beer we were drinking.

Though we never “train” in the traditional sense for any of our trips, we do embrace the practice of “packing light.” We first encountered this movement 20 years ago when a lightweight packer asked if we could help him repair a rip in his pack.  I did have a sewing kit to offer but (to give him a little grief) told him I only had heavyweight thread.  He was alarmed and actually hesitated before performing the sewing repair.  We now embrace the lightweight ethic (though not as zealously) knowing that packing light does introduce certain realities. When it gets cold outside…you’ll be chilly.  Meals won’t be gourmet… rather rehydrating the food that you’re cooking.  If you misplace something…it will be a critical loss.  This leads us to the knife.  What knife you ask?  Let me explain. 

Despite 20 years of faithful service, my well used camp knife disappears part way through our month long ride.  Mourning the loss, I gratefully accept Dan’s offer to use his modern new knife.  Imagine my horror when his knife also disappears suddenly after I borrow it. We’re packing light, so from this point, we have no knife.  I’m using sticks and rocks to cut things.  But then, on our final day of riding, what do I find in a pocket of my backpack?  Dan’s knife, pretty as you please.   Although my misery of having to replace his knife ends, in its place grows distrust & suspicion.  Was the knife just hiding in my pack the entire time?  Not a chance.  On the other hand, could Dan have been so wicked as to have “retrieved and then returned” his knife in order to cause me this despair?  Oh yes.  After substantial thought, disturbingly likely.  It seems that our travelling partner is both a thief and a sadist. I lay plans to set the rascal to task.

Stick with me here.  Jody isn’t fond of bears.  Actually, she’s terrified of them and especially the dangerous GRIZZLY bears you find up in the Canadian Rocky Mountains.  On our first day riding, we pass a group travelling in the opposite direction that had just seen a massive male grizzly and counsel us to be very careful.  We maintain vigilant attention on the surrounding woods and make lots of noise when approaching any blind turn.  Jody’s continuous yell of “Hey Bear…Get Away Bear” rings in my ears until her vocal chords fail entirely.  Jody has also prepared in advance by purchasing a canister of “bear mace”. According the canister directions, a quick response can be important and she has mounted the canister on her handlebars for easy reach. Nevertheless, the ranger in Banff said it’s mostly a placebo because who can aim straight when a 1,000 pound grizzly is bearing down on you???

About three days into the ride, Jody complains that there’s something wrong with her eyes & her breathing is restricted.  Dan and I aren’t experiencing any such effects and imagine she’s just tired and voicing an excuse to rest. Typical males. After riding another fifteen minutes, Jody insists we stop.  We investigate and immediately see that Jody’s bike headset has worn a hole through her canister of bear mace and the contents have completely emptied themselves into our tent mounted under her handlebars.  We realize now that Jody has shown extraordinary resolve in riding directly into a fog of bear mace.  Just for your information, Scoville Heat Units (SHU) rates the intensity of different products. A Jalapeno pepper is rated at 7,500 SHU.  Pepper spray is 25,000 SHU.  Bear mace is 2,000,000 SHU! Ouch! 

As the noxious fluid starts to evaporate, I notice the bear mace can has a cautionary note stating, “Do not proactively apply bear pepper spray to clothing, tents, etc. as it then may become an attractant.” Great, I think.  While sleeping in our pepper spray soaked tent, Jody and I are now going to smell like a nicely seasoned bear morsel.  I don’t mention this to Jody.  If we are going to be bear pizza, it is better she not know about it.  I mount a stuffed surrogate Kitty Kat on Jody’s handle bar to give her a small sense of comfort.  We continue our ride through bear country without any remaining weaponry.  Still retaining hope for a gear upgrade, I slow down to grant Dan our lead rider position.  I figure the rascal deserves it.

I think that the bear mace may have addled Jody’s brain a bit.  Jody’s been planning backcountry trips like this for over 20 years.  She planned this trip thoroughly. She has every map of the area, knows all the campsites, grocery stores & bike shops and is good with numbers.  Over the first week, we’ve travelling at a luxurious pace with plenty of time to set up camp, skinny dip in mountain lakes, cook “gourmet” ramen noodles and cuddle in our sleeping bags through the night.  The weather has been sunny and mild with light tail winds.  The riding has been absolutely flawless.  We’ve been averaging 25 miles per day.

I NEVER look at a map.  Our rule is Jody plans…I pack the bags.  However, in a weak moment, I take a peak.  I know that we have to ride 1,000 miles in 25 days.  As these numbers come into focus, I start to feel queasy.  We should have been averaging…40 miles per day!  At the rate we are going, we will end up 400 miles short of our destination.  Furthermore, to add insult to injury, we now need to average 50 miles a day to make up for “Miss Calculation’s” error.  Still, a spark of hope goes off in my cerebral cortex.  I remember that Dan was adamant before the trip that there was NO WAY he would be able to average 50 miles per day.  “Ah Ha” I think to myself, Jody’s miscalculation presents the perfect way by which I can acquire Dan’s shiny new bicycle and his titanium spork to boot!  I approach Dan and tell him he should sit down.  He takes the news in stride.  Not a word.  He just gets on his bike and starts pedaling. 

The man is a thief, a sadist and, now come to find out, he is also a masochist. I suspect he even knew how to ride a bike before he came on this trip.  I didn’t acquire a single piece of gear despite what I would have thought were pretty decent odds.  We all arrive home triumphantly to Durango, but I’m disappointed.  Given my moping, a friend recently told me I should evaluate why no one ever seems to want to go on a “second trip” with us. :) 

I’ve embraced my inner child.  Whereas some people take up dancing or painting, I’ve embraced “tagging”.  It all started when I saw a stuffed rag doll on the hood of a car - an epiphany event for me.  As a result, my inner child performed his first tagging job, mounting a Tasmanian Devil on the grill of our truck.  The smiles I saw from passers-by fueled his antics.  He surreptitiously started collecting stuffed animals…chosen for their suitability for tagging.  He proceeded to tag the cars of the neighbors.  Although satisfying, that wasn’t enough.  His behavior has grown out of control though I’ll admit that the carpet cleaner’s van looked great with an Elmo doll and my doctor’s car was very fashionable with a fluffy Big Bird.  I recently saw the Fed-ex delivery guy drop off some deliveries at a dead run.  Most recently the trash truck refuses to stop at our house.  All good things come to an end.

Fortunately, my inner child has found a substitute by decorating the 300’ long tall privacy fence surrounding the back yard.  Until recently, the fence was very long and very boring. He started modestly, installing a few ‘metal suns’ found at the nursery store.  This didn’t satisfy his ambitious impulse, so he painted an old window frame bright yellow, and mounted it. The audacious colors were much more gratifying.  So he did it again…and again…in bright orange, yellow, blue, green, purple, red.  With 30 colorful windows mounted there are only a few spots left.  Jody caught the bug and declared that she intends to mount window planters on the windows and run a drip system.  I’m in full support.  We are past being “eclectic” and accept that neighbors nod in our direction and whisper that we are “one of those” kinds of people.

Thomas the Tom Kat (TTTK) is as spoiled as a cat can be.  We have a bird feeder on our porch and there are often a dozen birds flocking around without any mind to their own safety.  TTTK sits immediately below the flock, mouth chattering and tail a thwacking in anticipation.  He doesn’t seem to understand that the birds aren’t going to land in his mouth.  He sits for hours.  We realize that he’s bird challenged, but don’t say anything since we like watching the birds.  Jody investigated sending him to hunting school but we searched the net and no dice…

Thomas also doesn’t like drinking ‘stale’ water from a bowl, so Jody adopted the role of cat servant by holding her hand under a running faucet to “drink him”.  This became quite a burden since TTTK would jump into every sink that she approached.  She spent many hours standing at sinks quenching his thirst. Don’t laugh. It was getting serious.  Thankfully she found a solution.  Our guests find it unusual to see our cat sitting in the kitchen sink licking at the drip-spout water bottle hanging from our dish drying rack, but we shush them and ask that they act casual.  We don’t want to have to take Thomas to a kitty psychologist to remedy a potential hamster complex!

I finally proclaim our Silverton cabin a “completed” effort. The cabin is now a quiet retreat, rather than a mountain of unfinished work.  Our final project was constructing an outside shower platform with an instant-on hot water heater.  There is something magical in standing buck-naked high in the mountains looking over Colorado’s grand San Juan range with hot water showering down on you.

CAREER:  Jody was interested in spending this past winter as a ski bum, but it was not to be.  She found a great opportunity consulting for Bank of America helping to correct the excesses of the mortgage meltdown.  I continue working as a consulting employee for SAIC as needed helping them with proposal development & contract management.  We both love the work, the people, and largely get to work from our home offices. 

IN SUMMARY:  We were camped just outside of Glacier National Park when for a brief few minutes we witnessed one of the prettiest alpenglow displays we’ve ever experienced.  The mountains lit up like fire as the sun set.  The river quietly rustled in passing.  The wind blew softly through the trees.  It is for days like this that we are thankful to be alive, healthy and happy.  We know that one’s life can change in an instant and we feel immense satisfaction being in this place, in this world, surrounded by friends, family and beauty. If you live outside the region and find yourself in the Durango area, please be sure to give us a ring.

SMILEBOX SLIDESHOW: 

We’ve created a musical slideshows for for our Continental Divide Trail Ride.  Enjoy! 

http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/openTheBox?sendevent=4d7a4d304d7a45334e444d3d0d0a&sb=1 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Jody and Seth Furtney & Thomas the Tom Kat

11 Molas Drive, Durango, CO 81301

Jody Phone: 970-385-5567 / Seth Phone: 970-385-5547 

Email:  jodyfurtney@hotmail.com / sethfurtney@hotmail.com